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December 11, 2010 at 6:33 PM

My pieces continue to become unglued. Failure seems to be the only constant in my life,my dreams aren’t there anymore.My career derailed and love ? Well i know of no such thing as i find every possible way in the book to push good women out my life.I can’t help but wonder is the life i have built for myself? I can’t really blame anyone but myself as for i am the director in this movie.I’ve called all the shots.But I can’t help but notice my thought process is blurred,is it watching my father drinks his life away at a reckless pace and become a shell of the man who raised me. Maybe is it watching my niece reach out for the love of her parents and not getting it and then realizing the love i give her isn’t enough. Or maybe its the look in my moms eyes as she thinks where did i go wrong with this one(me). Whatever it is I’m unglued, coming apart at the hinges and sometimes the pain of failure swallows me whole. I want out (like my father does) as i come to realize i don’t know if i can succeed under these conditions, but taking the easy way out is not an option at this point. I’m stuck here with none functioning parts , I’m stuck here.

My pieces continue to become unglued.

Failure seems to be the only constant in my life,my dreams aren’t there anymore.My career derailed and love ? Well i know of no such thing as i find every possible way in the book to push good women out my life.I can’t help but wonder is the life i have built for myself? I can’t really blame anyone but myself as for i am the director in this movie.I’ve called all the shots.But I can’t help but notice my thought process is blurred,is it watching my father drinks his life away at a reckless pace and become a shell of the man who raised me. Maybe is it watching my niece reach out for the love of her parents and not getting it and then realizing the love i give her isn’t enough. Or maybe its the look in my moms eyes as she thinks where did i go wrong with this one(me). Whatever it is I’m unglued, coming apart at the hinges and sometimes the pain of failure swallows me whole. I want out (like my father does) as i come to realize i don’t know if i can succeed under these conditions, but taking the easy way out is not an option at this point. I’m stuck here with none functioning parts , I’m stuck here.