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December 16, 2010 at 3:16 PM

Future,present and past. So a couple months into this funk i actually feel positive about the future again. I can’t help but think about the few people i have pushed away the last few months. I’m sure some relationship will never be the same but i can’t just run up to people and say “hey I’m depressed letting out my frustrations or feelings i kept inside for a long time actually makes me feel better.” Is making them think I’m asshole better ? for my pride maybe it is.Its been a slow grind down, it slowly began to come out a few weeks after i lost my job, began to lose control when i messed up things between a lady friend and i, and totally took over when i lash out at a couple of friends.I’ve lost some weight, not that i notice but it’s what a few people tell me. Some days I’m just not hungry and haven’t been to the gym in months. No one notices anything different in me if they do they’re not saying.The small talk i do have with some close friends i keep it short or keep it about them i worry that they might see right thru me. Just cause you know whats wrong with you doesn’t mean its easy to say. I’m hoping to beat this soon and get back to my future.I just hope i haven’t completely annoy everyone by then.

Future,present and past.

So a couple months into this funk i actually feel positive about the future again. I can’t help but think about the few people i have pushed away the last few months. I’m sure some relationship will never be the same but i can’t just run up to people and say “hey I’m depressed letting out my frustrations or feelings i kept inside for a long time actually makes me feel better.” Is making them think I’m asshole better ? for my pride maybe it is.Its been a slow grind down, it slowly began to come out a few weeks after i lost my job, began to lose control when i messed up things between a lady friend and i, and totally took over when i lash out at a couple of friends.I’ve lost some weight, not that i notice but it’s what a few people tell me. Some days I’m just not hungry and haven’t been to the gym in months. No one notices anything different in me if they do they’re not saying.The small talk i do have with some close friends i keep it short or keep it about them i worry that they might see right thru me. Just cause you know whats wrong with you doesn’t mean its easy to say. I’m hoping to beat this soon and get back to my future.I just hope i haven’t completely annoy everyone by then.

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